Image by Laura Kate Photography.

So being a newly single gal after being with my ex for 14 years brings on some interesting lessons in dating again. Since I haven’t dated for over a decade, I have a lot to learn. I have been on an array of first dates, and hardly any second dates.

Why is that? Am I too picky? Do they not like me? Am I scared of this “dating” thing? Well, I’m sure it’s a mixture of everything, but I want to share some things that will help make a first date possibly turn into a second date!

  • First, don’t do all the talking and don’t be silent, either! There should be some sort of conversation. If you don’t know what to talk about, just think of questions to ask before the date that don’t require yes or no answers.
  • It really doesn’t matter what you do as long as you have good conversation and there is some sort of “spark.” If you don’t feel a spark, you might as well keep it interesting and see if there is friendship potential. If not, no biggie.
  • It’s okay to flirt or make the first move for a kiss. This is a really good way to tell if there is some sort of attraction. Females: don’t be shy to be the one to make the move.
  • Don’t be nervous! It may be easier said than done, but it shows if you’re nervous, and that can be a big turn off.
  • Be decisive! Ladies love it when the guy makes the plans. Find out before you go out if there is a favorite place to eat or place they really don’t like. If all else fails then try going for coffee first.
  • For a first date I would rather drive myself. If I feel I need to get away then I can.
  • Waiting to call or text for three days is stupid! The communication doesn’t have to be complicated or elaborate. You can text that night and say if you had fun, or set up another date.
  • Don’t show up to a date drunk, and try to not drink more than two drinks if you must. You would think this is common sense, but apparently it isn’t.
  • Make sure your date is prepared for what you’re doing so she can dress appropriately, or vice versa (i.e. if there will be a lot of walking, if you need a jacket, etc.).
  • Don’t do a movie for a first date, but if you do, make sure you go somewhere afterwards you can actually talk to see if there is a connection.
  • Look nice, smell nice and have gum or mints available.

            If you can do those things, you might just make it to that second date!

            Listen to Mel weekdays on the Hot 104.7 Hot Morning Show.

            Have any questions? E-mail her at

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