I’m still really close with my guy friend from college. We have a great time together, and now I’m married and he’s engaged. I might be reading into it, but I swear his fiance always has to sit between us, and we never get to hang out one-on-one anymore. Are we just not allowed to be normal now?

JR: Have fun with it. Randomly wink at him when it doesn’t even apply in conversation. Then after everything he says, say, “Right?!”

JW: Dude, bro love is the biggest threat to the “succubus.” She wants to drive a wedge between friends so she can isolate and control her target. I don’t want to speculate on the best way to save your boy, but it might involve holy water. Check the dark web.

JT: Change sucks, especially when it’s with friends. She’ll calm down eventually, but some people get guarded with the opposite sex. She’ll see you two are just friends and chill out.

The last couple of times I’ve gone out with my buddy, he leaves without paying his tab. I’ve helped out and covered it before, but I’m done covering his drinks and shots. What’s the deal?

JR: Order a bottle of Dom Perignon the next club you two are at together. When it gets served, grab the bottle and run for it. He’ll have to pay. You might have to change your number or address after, but it’s so worth the 10-minute burn.

JW: Identity fraud can sometimes be your friend. Take his cards and only use them when he bails early.

JT: I would suggest taking a friend break from this guy. He sounds like he’s having a bit of a crisis. Some people can’t hang.

This guy I like Snapchat messages me all of the time and will rarely text. Am I being dramatic, or is he using Snapchat primarily to hide our conversations? It seems strange.

JR: It’s weird that you brought this up, because I’m going through the same thing! I met this really nice guy in the bathroom at a gas station. He passed his phone through this hole in the wall, and we exchanged usernames. He said he wanted to “kick it.” It’s also really weird, because he keeps sending me DPs. I ask him if it was a mistake, and he just replies, “Lol.”

JW: That means he thinks you’re a disloyal friend who would screenshot your convos. This sounds like a “you problem.”

JT: Who knows in 2018. I’m still trying to figure out Vine.

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