How do I find motivation to keep in shape after swimsuit season is over?

JR: You’re talking to a 30-year-old man who has worked at the same pizza joint for 10 years and lives with his parents. I’ve been looking for motivation for a real long time. If you find it, let me know its location.

JW: I’m judging you right now, and I’m a pretty laid back person. Imagine what everyone else will think if you let it go. Harness that fear…

JT: I’ve heard watching the movie The 300 does wonders for shaming oneself into working out. That’s why I’ve never watched it.

My husband keeps moving stuff in the kitchen and I can’t ever find anything. How do I nicely suggest that I put things there for a reason?

JR: I only know where two things are in the entire kitchen: the refrigerator and microwave. I take the leftover pizza out of the refrigerator and put it in the microwave. No kitchen disturbance. I would make the perfect husband.

JW: Okay, this one is easy. When he’s back from the hardware store re-buying all of the tools that you “cleaned up” for him, and then they “went missing,” just tell him what he’s done wrong and how he should do a better job of not messing up next time. Simple.

JT: I’m a big fan of ripping off the Band Aid and having those “difficult” conversations. Obviously, you’re going to want to approach the situation in a respectful manner. Ask why he put something away where he did. Maybe his reasons will make sense once you hear him out. If not, explain why you put things away where you do. But remember, use your words. If you’re “too nice” to talk about something as simple as this, your marriage is doomed.

I live with four other housemates and two of them refuse to do any chores. How can I even out the workload without calling them out?

JR: My roommate-parents have been fighting this battle with me for years. Take a hint, Mom and Dad. I don’t do chores. It’s not my thing. Besides, I’m hardly there now that Pokemon Go came out.

JW: In the words of Bernie Sanders, “TAX TAX TAX TAX TAX TAX!” They either need to do their fair share of the chores, or they will have a tariff added to their rent.

JT: Don’t make a chore chart. Just don’t do it. I know you want to, but you will forever be known as “that guy” if you do. Have a house meeting and talk it out. Be rational. Bring snacks. Catch flies with honey. If that doesn’t work, find a reasonably priced studio and enjoy the cleanliness that accompanies solitude.

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