I HAVE TROUBLE BUDGETING, BUT I DON’T WANT TO CUT GOING OUT TO EAT OR GOING TO EVENTS WITH MY FRIENDS. HOW CAN I KEEP THEE THINGS IN MY LIFE BUT ALSO SAVE MONEY?
JR: That’s easy! Tell your friends you’ll Venmo them once they get you into the event, then drop your phone in your beer in front of them and act super panicked. Problem solved.
JW: “Dine and dash” is a term that comes to mind. Or the classic, “Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.” Also, have you tried credit card fraud?
JT: You might need to work on your FOMO and also get better at picking and choosing when to join your friends. Everyone would love to make it to everything, but that’s not real life.
MY FRIENDS WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO PLAN THINGS. SOMETIMES IT’S SO LATE THAT BY THE TIME THEY GET IT TOGETHER, I’VE ALREADY CALLED IT A NIGHT. ARE MY FRIENDS TRYING TO AVOID ME?
JR: What qualifies as “too late”? If you’re going to bed at 8 p.m. it’s your fault for being a lame-o.
JW: No, your friends are just rudderless clowns. Just start keeping track of their late planning, and at the end of the month send them an invoice with a bunch of nights/weekends emergency scheduling charges. After all, if a plumber can do it, why couldn’t a friend?
JT: Maybe try taking the reins and planning the next event. That way you can see how they plan and also show an interest in helping. Also, then you’re guaranteed to be there.
MY COWORKER COMES BY TO TALK TO ME TOO MUCH AT MY DESK, AND IT’S AFFECTING MY WORKLOAD. I NEED SPACE, BUT I DON’T WANT TO SEEM UNFRIENDLY.
JR: Find a podcast they hate. Then, when they come by and you have headphones in, start a conversation about said podcast and try to bond with them over it. That should keep them away.
JW: Is she hot? If so, get over it, bro! If she’s not, just be like, “Ew, you’re gross, go away forever.” That subtle rebuke will slowly sink in and will work over the course of months.
JT: It’s always easy to blame someone else. I would say a manager or co-worker talked to you and mentioned you could get in trouble for chatting too much during work hours.